


Through The Looking Glass

by childofthenight2035



Category: GOT7, JJ Project
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Dimension Travel, M/M, Mirror Universe, Non-Explicit Sex, Soul Magic, Soulmates, This is not fantasy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-05
Updated: 2020-01-05
Packaged: 2021-02-27 15:27:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22129474
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/childofthenight2035/pseuds/childofthenight2035
Summary: All Jaebeom had intended when he woke up on Tuesday was to bunk a couple classes and flunk a blind date.He didn't expect to be pulled into another world where he didn't belong.
Relationships: Im Jaebum | JB/Park Jinyoung
Comments: 13
Kudos: 142





	Through The Looking Glass

Jaebeom had never thought that there would be someone capable of understanding him better than himself—literally. But there was. There always had been. Perhaps he was just too caught up in everything else to see that he took them for granted. 

-

Jaebeom grew up with Sungjin and his little brother. They were neighbours and schoolmates and best friends. His brother Jinyoung was a couple years younger than them, but that didn’t prevent him from fitting himself into their friendship. Jaebeom had grown to see him as his own little brother and Jinyoung always molded himself to that role. Always. It was as if he had two older brothers instead of just one. 

Jaebeom had to admit that he wasn’t always the nicest person to Jinyoung. But hey, neither was Sungjin. Isn’t that what younger siblings are for? To tease mercilessly and humiliate them in front of other people?

But no matter how close Jaebeom was to them, he would someday have to remember that Jinyoung _wasn’t_ his brother.

-

Jaebeom didn’t know why it bothered him so much.  
Sure, it wasn’t a nice thing he said and he embarrassed Jinyoung in front of his friends at Mark’s birthday party, but they all laughed at it, even Sungjin, and obviously Jaebeom didn’t mean it seriously, it was just a silly remark. But Jinyoung didn’t laugh and what’s more, he got up and left the room. Jaebeom caught sight of his hurt expression before he was out of sight. 

That expression haunted him for the rest of the night. He couldn’t even sleep. As he lay awake, he thought to himself, _why am I making such a big deal about this? Sungjin has said so much worse in front of people, that’s what siblings do, right?_

He rolled over, a little reassured. _If you’re still guilty when you wake up, go apologize or something. Quit thinking so much._ He should really sleep. 

-

Sunday had Jinyoung avoiding him. He knew it, and the guilt resurfaced when Sungjin showed up without his little brother in tow. That night he tried his best to put the matter out of his mind. He had class in the morning. Not to mention his flatmate Brian had set him up on a blind date on Tuesday. The thought of that cheered him up considerably. Consumed in the various possibilities that could play out, he drifted off to sleep.

-

_The balance has been disturbed…time is ticking._

Jaebeom jolted awake in the middle of the night, a thin sheen of sweat covering him. His eyes were wide open, his chest heaved. 

_What the fuck was that all about?_

Mildly confused, but not worried, he rolled over and fell back asleep.

He didn’t remember his guilt or confusion at all by the time the bell rang for first period.

-

Jaebeom peered into his full-length mirror, cocking an eyebrow and admiring himself before he would meet his blind date after class (Brian said she was pretty so he’d tried a little harder—even though he wasn’t particularly looking forward to a relationship with her, it would still hurt his pride if he couldn’t impress her). He smirked at his reflection in an attempt to practice his (non-existent) flirting skills and laid a palm against the mirror. 

It happened so suddenly.

It was as if something sucked him in, he faceplanted the mirror but…surpassed it? And then fell flat on top of someone. He caught sight of the person he had fallen onto and it was…

It was _him_?

His eyes widened and he opened his mouth to shout, but the…other guy clamped a palm over his face. Jaebeom struggled but the grip was firm. Eyes darting around for some escape, he saw the exact same bedroom he owned…but why was the bathroom on _that_ side? And why was the bed facing _this_ way? What the heck? 

The fight left him to be replaced with utter confusion. The other guy let go of him and they both stood up. Jaebeom stared hard at the person standing before him, even slapping his face a couple times to make sure he wasn’t dreaming. 

Because he was literally standing in front of himself. But flipped. Like his… _reflection_!

The other Jaebeom didn’t even seem to blink. He looked tired, like he was expecting this somehow. Wait, was this _his_ fault? 

“What the fuck is going on?” Jaebeom managed to say. “What is this place? Why am I here? Who even _are_ you?”

The second Jaebeom rubbed his forehead. “That’s a lot of questions.” He moved past Jaebeom to the mirror that now registered an empty bedroom. Much to Jaebeom’s surprise, the guy didn’t have a reflection as he moved in front of it and slowly lowered it to the ground, mirror face down. “I’m afraid I don’t know the answer to the first one, although I am hoping _you_ do.”

Jaebeom could only stare. The other guy sighed and gestured for him to sit down.

“I’m not sure how much you’ll believe, but I’m going to try and explain what I know.” Jaebeom nodded, hesitantly perching himself down at the edge of his bed. “Are you aware that there are other dimensions in the universe?”

“Dimensions?” Jaebeom ran a blank. “Like _Into the Spiderverse_?”

The other Jaebeom looked confused. “Like what?”

“You’ve never heard of that movie?” 

“Not really, no.”

“It’s like portals exist and you can get sucked into another dimension…oh.” Jaebeom trailed off, understanding. “So this is another…dimension?”

The other Jaebeom nodded. “The _mirror_ dimension to yours, actually.” He pursed his lips. “Technically we have every right to be equal with _your_ dimension, but we’re used to being your mirror. It’s kinda fucked up society, but it is what it is. I guess we’re more open to stuff that shouldn’t be happening.”

Jaebeom decided he was going to call the other guy JB because it felt weird calling someone his own name. “How do you know all that, though? _I_ don’t. So how can you?”

JB narrowed his eyes. “Why you assume that we’re the same? We literally only cross paths when we come across a mirror. We probably lead very different lives.”

Jaebeom was shocked. He hadn’t thought of things like that at all. 

“Listen,” JB stressed. “I have class today and I have to leave soon, so I don’t have much time to explain. I’ve been getting messages for a few days about something going wrong.” He turned to rummage in his desk, pulling out a scrap of paper. He held it out for Jaebeom to read.

“The balance is—disturbed!” Jaebeom continued to read with recognition. “A pure heart has been scorned and love rebuked. Find the equilibrium. Time is ticking!” He looked up at JB. “I’ve heard this in a dream!”

“Do you know what it means?”

Jaebeom deflated. “No.”

JB took the paper from him. “It means that you screwed up, basically. Somehow. Once I got the message, I figured you would end up here.”

“Why am I the one who screwed up?” Jaebeom asked, offended. “Why can’t it be you?”

“Who’s the one _not_ in his own dimension right now?” JB retorted. 

“But I haven’t like, scorned a heart or rebuked love or whatever!” he protested, growing more confused by the minute. “At least not on purpose!” 

“Then you must not know you did something wrong.” JB put the paper back into his desk and moved to his wardrobe. “I’d better change. And, by the way, we don’t have reflections anymore, so it would probably be a better idea if we stay away from mirrors.”

“But what’s going to happen on my side?” Jaebeom asked, worried. 

“You’ve disappeared. They’ll probably search for you after a while, then call the police.” 

“How are you so calm about this?”

JB shrugged off his black shirt and put on a clean white one (Jaebeom doubted he owned any white shirt at all, how different _were_ they?). “There isn’t any point in panicking.”

Jaebeom was at a loss for words. He accepted the mask and cap that JB handed to him and followed him quietly out of the apartment. Everything was on the opposite side that Jaebeom was used to. It was like the entire world was flipped sideways. 

“So what do we do?” he asked, whispering. 

“I don’t know. I’m hoping we can ask Brian hyung when he gets back home today.” JB was worrying his lower lip nervously. 

“Why would Brian hyung know?”

“Ah, I forgot you’re not—Brian hyung is mastering in Magical Calamity. As in accidents happening because of magic.”

“Are you _shitting_ me right now?” Jaebeom didn’t know whether to laugh or be surprised anymore. 

“Why, what does he study on your side?”

“Business management.”

JB burst out laughing, attracting the stares of passers-by. Jaebeom discreetly adjusted his cap. Things were progressing far too quickly for his liking. 

The two of them arrived at the university building, which was the same as Jaebeom’s, just flipped, and then a thought occurred to him. “What do _you_ study? Is it music?”

JB stopped in his tracks. “You study music?” Jaebeom nodded. “Wow. That’s so awesome, I’ve never been any good at it.” 

Mortified that any version of him was not great at music, he repeated his question. “You?”

“Parapsychology.”

“Say what now?”

JB chuckled. “I study things like ESP. Telekinesis, telepathy, stuff like that.” 

Jaebeom couldn’t believe this version of him was smart enough to study all that. Back in high school, he’d maintained a whopping sixty percent average and sometimes he blamed his lack of attention for the head injury he’d briefly had when he was b-boying. But this was so damn cool. Was it possible to feel jealous of yourself? Because Jaebeom was sure that was what he was feeling right then. 

JB led him to a spot in the courtyard and he jolted when he saw Sungjin and Mark waiting for them. So his best friends were still the same, that was a relief. It was slightly disturbing to see their faces flipped, there were minute differences, but it didn’t matter anymore.

“Hey, dude!” Mark called out. “Who’s this?”

“Ah, this is my cousin Jae—Jaehyun from Ilsan,” JB explained hastily. “He’s here visiting.”

Without removing his disguise, Jaebeom fist-bumped the two and wondered what they would be studying in this dimension. Luckily, they didn’t seem to want too much of a backstory. 

“Hyung!”

Jaebeom’s heart leapt. He knew that voice. He’d know it anywhere, in any dimension. Whipping around to see the person who’d spoken, his eyes fell on the figure walking toward them. 

The other Jinyoung didn’t spare either of them a glance, walking straight to his brother and handing him a book. “Hyung, you left this on the dining table. Figured you might need it.”

“You’re a lifesaver, Nyoung.” Sungjin gratefully accepted it and stashed it into his bag. Jaebeom watched as Jinyoung (the _other_ Jinyoung) give Mark a huge smile. But then, much to his surprise, that smile turned into a fierce scowl when he caught sight of JB. 

Behind his mask, Jaebeom’s mouth fell open. That…that expression was almost pure hatred. He’d never seen that kind of face on Jinyoung, he was always happy to be with Jaebeom. Wasn’t he? 

_So, in this dimension, I’m not friends with Jinyoung?_

Jaebeom was numb even as Jinyoung walked briskly away and even as Sungjin apologized for his brother’s rudeness (as if he had been apologizing for a long time) and even as JB brushed it off with a hurt expression (as if he had been brushing it off for an even longer time). 

Jaebeom’s heart was in pain. He could tolerate all the differences between the dimensions…except this. He could accept that JB studied psychology and that the world was laterally inverted, but this? A firsthand glimpse into character difference? A dimension where he and Jinyoung _weren’t_ friends? 

He couldn’t unstick his throat until he was safely back in JB’s room.

He’d tried to leave by touching the mirror, but JB said that it wouldn’t work until he fixed whatever was wrong. So he was trapped in the mirror. Until who knows when. Wonderful.

“Why was Jinyoung being like that back there?” Jaebeom asked, not wanting to show his other side how hurt he was by it.

“What do you mean?” JB scratched the collar of his shirt uncomfortably. “He’s always like that to me. Nothing new. Is it hot in here?” He stood to turn the fan on.

“So…in this dimension, he’s not your friend?” Perhaps he wasn’t as good as he thought at hiding the devastation in his voice.

JB perked up, eyeing him almost eagerly. “Wait, is he your friend on your side?” He seemed near desperate to hear it. 

“Well. Yeah,” Jaebeom told him as if it should be obvious. “We’re really close.”

“Oh.” The noise escaped JB in a soft sigh. “How I wish Jinyoung could at least be my friend.” He looked so wistful and—and _lovesick_ that Jaebeom was horrified.

“Wait, what the heck?” he burst out. “Are you… _in love_ with Jinyoung or something?” JB’s gaze fell to the floor. Dread filled Jaebeom.

_Aw, hell no. He really is in love with Jinyoung._

“He hates me, though,” JB said quietly. “I don’t think I’ll get anywhere with this, but a man can hope, right?” Even though the thought of being with Jinyoung made Jaebeom uneasy, he still felt upset that Jinyoung didn’t like him.

“What did you do, though? Jinyoung can be petty, but he usually forgives people if they deserve to be.” JB shook his head.

“I don’t know what I did.” He sighed. “I really don’t.”  
Jaebeom was spared from giving an answer by the sound of the front door slamming. JB’s flatmate must have come back.

“Brian hyung.” He gestured for Jaebeom to follow him outside. “He’ll know what to do.”

-

“Oh no” was the first thing Brian said when he saw the two of them coming downstairs like identical twins. “No, no, no, no.”

“Hyung, you gotta help us.” JB seized his flatmate’s hands and begged. “We have no clue what to do.” Brian smacked his hands away. 

“Stuff like this don’t happen unless you do something fucked up,” he snapped, crossing his arms. “I swear on everything I believe in, if you two bring the police up in here, I will personally see to it that you’re either arrested or killed.”

“Hyung, please,” Jaebeom spoke up. “I really don’t know what I did to end up here.”

Brian seemed a little shaken by his use of ‘hyung’ like they were familiar, but then again, it was only the mirror dimension. His other side would probably have helped them out.

JB held out the message he’d received and Brian ran his eyes over it. 

“I’m not sure, but from this and from the residual magic on Jaebeom, I’m tempted to say this is soul magic, but I can’t be sure. Soul magic is elusive.” He pressed his knuckles to his head. “It’s also dangerous, I can’t believe you idiots went and messed with soul magic. I should really cut you up and stew you so the homeless can eat.”

“What does it mean, hyung, please?” 

Brian sighed, staring at the message as if some other meaning would present itself to him. “I think it means there’s a change in dynamic.”

Jaebeom exchanged a glance with his other side. “What do you mean?”

“Even in other dimensions—you’ve figured out about the other dimensions, right?” Jaebeom nodded. “In others, the details might vary, the style of existence and appearances might vary, but generally dynamics don’t change. I mean,” he continued, seeing their confusion, “the relationships between people don’t really change even though everything else might. So, for example, the relationship I have with this Jaebeom would probably be the same as you have with your Brian. You’re still flatmates with him, right?”

_But dynamics have changed, though? What about that?_

Brian was asking him something. “Have any dynamics changed? That you noticed?”

“Yeah,” Jaebeom admitted. “Jinyoung.”

“Jinyoung?” Brian looked over at JB. “The guy you’re head over heels for? The guy who hates you? That guy?” JB nodded. 

“He’s one of my best friends on my side,” Jaebeom clarified.

Brian stilled. Jaebeom could almost hear the gears working. “Oh. _OH._ ”

“What?”

“The dynamic must have interchanged.” He looked up at them, eyes wide. “Since Jaebeom on this side is in love with Jinyoung, who doesn’t reciprocate…”

“…Jinyoung on that side is in love with Jaebeom who doesn’t reciprocate,” JB finished, realization dawning on him. 

“Wait, what? Jinyoung is in love with me?” Jaebeom couldn’t believe his ears. “What are you guys talking about? He’s sees me like he sees Sungjin, we’re practically brothers.”

“It must be true otherwise this wouldn’t happen.” Brian fiddled with the paper. “If this really is soul magic…I wouldn’t say it’s overexaggerating that you two are soulmates.”

“Did you do something to hurt Jinyoung?” JB asked him, almost threateningly. “Rejected a confession or something, maybe?”

Jaebeom shook his head. “No, I didn’t…” But then all he could think of was Mark’s birthday party and Jinyoung’s hurt expression and guilt soared within him once more. _Was that it? Was that such a big deal?_ “Maybe I…maybe I said something that hurt him, but…that was just a joke, I mean, Sungjin has said worse things…”

“Yeah, but Jinyoung’s not in love with Sungjin, he’s in love with _you_.” Was Brian right? “You’ll have to fix things before it’s too late. The message does say time is ticking.”

“How much time do we have?” JB seemed just as anxious to fix things. “I don’t want to be annihilated.”

“ _Annihilated?_ ” Jaebeom’s voice held a note of panic. “What do you mean?”

“You’ll cancel each other out and vanish,” Brian explained as calmly as he could. “I’ll try to work it out. What date is it today?”

“It’s September seventh.” 

Jaebeom chewed on his lip, panic setting in. What was going on over there? Would they call the police? Would there be a huge funk about his disappearance?

“But what are we even supposed to _do_?” He was desperate now. 

Brian stood up and fetched a notepad for his calculations. “The only way is to restore the equilibrium. Our Jaebeom will have to get Jinyoung to return his feelings.”

JB deflated, hopelessness oozing out of him. “But he hates me. I don’t know anything about him.”

“That’s okay.” A determined edge sharpened Jaebeom’s words. “ _I_ do.”

-

After JB had fallen asleep, Jaebeom tiptoed out to the living room. 

_I’m seriously going crazy. All I was trying to do today was flunk a blind date, why am I here? What did I do to you, Jinyoung-ah?_

Brian was still sitting at the table, poring over his notepad and the scrap of paper that JB had given him bearing the message. Jaebeom hesitantly went and sat across from him.

“Ah, hey…uh, Jaebeom.” He shot him a tired smile. “Couldn’t sleep?”

“No,” he replied, tilting his head in an attempt to read the insane amount of calculations that were scribbled on the notepad. “Too much is going on. What are you doing, hyung?”

Without looking up, Brian explained that he was trying to figure out the time they had left to fix this problem before they vanished. Jaebeom couldn’t understand most of the terms he used, but at some point, Brian asked him a simple question: “Do you know when the equinox is this year?”

Jaebeom shook his head.

“It’s on the twenty-second of September.”

He sat up. “Jinyoung’s birthday?”

Brian leaned forward. “Jinyoung’s birthday is on the twenty-second?” 

“Yeah.”

“Fuck.” Brian set down his pen and ran his hands through his hair. “That must be it, then.”

“What?”

“You guys have until the equinox to fix this. More or less. From tomorrow, that’s…fifteen days. You guys have fifteen days.”

 _Fifteen days. Fifteen days to make this Jinyoung not hate JB and then fall in love with him. Sure. Why not? Piece of cake._ Jaebeom sighed, tugging his hair in frustration. _We’re screwed._

He noticed that Brian was observing him closely. “I know you’re having a hard time, but…if there’s, um, anything I can do, just tell me, yeah?”

He nodded. And then, “Uh, actually, there might be. Is there any way to send a message to the other—to _my_ side? I don’t want anyone to freak out and call the police.”

Brian thought for a while, then a sort of sheepish look passed over his face. “There might be, but it’s technically illegal, so don’t like, tell anyone about it, okay? Not even the other Jaebeom.” 

“I promise I won’t.”

He pulled out his cell phone. “I’ll stand in front of a mirror and hold my phone up and then you use Jaebeom’s (I mean this Jaebeom’s) phone to send me a message from you. My reflection will get that message, too, because I’m holding it up. And then hopefully the other Brian will convey the message to everybody.” 

Jaebeom was awed. “Whoa, it’s that simple? That’s so cool!” 

“It’s called mirror manipulation, but in this dimension, it’s against the law, so…” He gestured with his phone. “Go get his phone and think about what you’re going to text your people. I’m not making this a habit, so you only have one shot.” Jaebeom was already running back into the bedroom to find JB’s phone before Brian was finished.

_What do I tell them? Damn, I really hope Brian won’t be stupid and tell everyone I texted him. Okay, what do I type? Um. Hey, Brian, I know you’re mad at me and maybe worried for running off like that without telling anybody anything, and I’m really sorry about that, I just had to get away from it all, I don’t know why but I was super stressed…I’ll be back soon, okay? Let everyone know and don’t be stupid, don’t call the police and make a huge stink or anything, okay? I’m fine, really._

“You ready?” 

Brian stood in front of the bathroom mirror (with Jaebeom safely outside) and lifted his phone so the screen was facing the mirror. Jaebeom watched as Brian’s face contorted in confusion and then he pressed send. The ‘ding’ of the notification filled the air and the Brian looked at it, confused, then surprised, then rushed out of the bathroom. 

Returning to normal, he nodded at Jaebeom. “He’s got it. Don’t worry.”

“Why did you look so confused and shocked? You knew I was going to send you that.”

“I looked confused because that Brian was confused.” Jaebeom still didn’t understand. “Dude, it’s like, _your_ dimension calls the shots. All the time. Our dimension has to follow. That’s why mirror manipulation is technically illegal.”

Ah. That must be why JB was so bitter when he spoke of them being the ‘mirror’ dimension.

“That sucks.”

“It’s a necessity. If you study Magical Law, you’d understand.” Brian clapped Jaebeom on the shoulder. “You should rest. It’s been a long day, and besides, don’t you have to start wooing your precious Jinyoungie tomorrow?” 

Jaebeom blushed, shoving Brian away as he used to do to _his_ Brian. “Stop it, hyung.” Brian could only laugh in his face and Jaebeom found that his chest ached for home.

-

“I don’t know about this,” JB whispered fearfully to him as they left the apartment the next day. “What if he understands that it’s not me?”

Jaebeom had relayed the information Brian gave him the previous night, that they only had until the twenty-second to get mirror Jinyoung to fall in love with JB. Their countdown had started. And judging from the situation, the first step was to get Jinyoung to at least talk to him, to at least find out what the cause of their feud was. And to fix it. 

Jaebeom had told him what was going to happen. He would confront Jinyoung pretending to be JB while the real thing was in class and ask him out front what the matter was. There was only a slim chance that he would get an answer at all. He would take JB’s phone and keep it recording in his pocket so JB could hear for himself what Jinyoung said. 

“It’ll be fine,” Jaebeom reassured him. “We don’t even look that different. I won’t say enough for him to think I’m not you. If something about ESP or whatever comes up, I’ll just change the topic.” Jaebeom sounded far more confident than he felt. 

JB hummed, looking incredibly doubtful. They were wearing matching clothes today. JB had gotten hold of Jinyoung’s timetable from Mark, who apparently knew about JB’s hopeless crush on the guy. Jaebeom would wait around campus discreetly while JB hid himself away in class. 

Jaebeom halted at the gate of the university, glancing around. He tugged his mask higher up his face and nudged JB in. “Go on. Don’t worry.”

“You have my phone, right?”

“Yep. I didn’t forget. Just go to class and don’t think about it.” 

JB nodded, seeming a bit selfishly relieved that someone else was taking charge of the situation. Quite different from Jaebeom. He pulled off his own mask and slipped inside. 

Jaebeom sighed. Jinyoung would switch buildings after second hour. There was a distance of about a couple hundred metres that he would have to walk. Jaebeom would have to catch him then. And get the information he needed. 

But until then, he would wait.

-

He heard Jinyoung before he saw him. 

He was leaning against a wall around the corner of the main block, knowing that soon enough Jinyoung would be making his trip across to the arts block for his philosophy lecture. He heard the door open and Jinyoung’s laughter—still fake sounding, even across dimensions. His heart throbbed suddenly as he remembered what Jinyoung looked like. Probably covering his mouth and crinkles around his eyes. He was suddenly very aware of the phone in his pocket, recording everything going on and a stab of jealousy pulsed through him. That should be for _his_ ears. No one else’s.

And then he rounded the corner. 

Jaebeom waited for a sign of recognition, anything. He had even removed his mask. 

But Jinyoung passed by him without so much as a glance. 

Jaebeom immediately saw the girl striding beside him and with a jolt, realized it was Jimin, one of Jinyoung’s classmates back in his dimension. Briefly he wondered what she was studying, but then recalled that dynamics wouldn’t change and that she was probably learning the same things as Jinyoung. They were chatting far too enthusiastically to pay any attention to the people around them. Jaebeom realized that Jinyoung had a case slung over his shoulder. Was that a violin case? Jinyoung played the violin? 

“Jinyoung!” he called after them, surely loud enough. “Park Jinyoung!”

Jimin stopped abruptly, twisting around, while Jinyoung continued. She grabbed his arm. Jaebeom knew only too well the expression creeping across her face. It was the same one he gave Brian when his “friend” came over. But he didn’t understand why she was doing that here, now. Who was she making fun of? JB…or Jinyoung?

She forced Jinyoung to a halt and whispered furiously into his ear. Then, taking his backpack and instrument case, she briskly walked away. Jaebeom held his breath, hoping against hope that he wouldn’t run. 

He stayed. Jimin must have threatened him enough. 

“Can I _help_ you?” Jinyoung snapped impatiently, checking his watch. “I have to go to class, you know.” This was an assertiveness that his Jinyoung rarely brought out without reason.

Jaebeom unstuck his throat. “I…I wanted to talk to you.”

He rolled his eyes and crossed his arms. 

_Defensive_ , Jaebeom noted, a random piece of knowledge coming back to him. _He’s getting ready to fight._

“You want to _talk_? About what?” The way his lips curled into a sneer had Jaebeom aching inside. Jinyoung wasn’t like this. He couldn’t be. 

“About us.” Jaebeom wondered if he would say this so boldly if he was facing _his_ Jinyoung.

The expression on his face fell just the slightest, but he recovered remarkably fast. “What do you want, Jaebeom?” he asked harshly. A twinge of hurt passed through him at the use of his name without the ‘hyung’ he’d been used to hearing.

Jaebeom felt helpless, something he had never allowed himself to feel. He was usually in control of the situation. Not this time. “Why do you hate me?”

Jinyoung scoffed, disbelieving. “That’s why you want to talk? Seriously?” He squinted across campus as if this entire conversation was a waste of his time. “As if you don’t know.” With a final look of disgust, he turned on his heel. Jaebeom didn’t know what surged through him at that point, but he leapt forward, grasping Jinyoung’s wrist. The wrist that always fit in the circle of his fingers. 

“Jinyoung, please,” he begged. “I really don’t know. Please, just tell me.”

The younger boy’s eyes flared up in anger and he yanked his arm back out of Jaebeom’s grip. And then stormed away. 

Jaebeom staggered and fell to his knees. Stunned into silence. 

_Jinyoung_ , he thought desperately. _I want to see Jinyoung. Mine._ Jaebeom hadn’t quite realized how much he had gotten used to seeing Jinyoung. _I want to see him and be with him and hear his laugh and see his smile._

The fact that this was also a side of Jinyoung broke his heart.

“Is this what Jirongie must have felt when I made fun of him?” he whispered, knees digging into the ground. And his heart sank further. 

-

The second day he tried wasn’t very different. 

He’d snuck back to the apartment soon after the incident and cried his heart out on the floor of JB’s bedroom. The inverted space seemed so achingly familiar yet so far from what he was used to that his tears were only fueled further. 

When JB returned, it seemed like nothing had happened at all. Jaebeom played him the recording, what little they could hear. JB didn’t seem very surprised, apart from the fact that Jinyoung assumed he _knew_ the reason for the fight. Perhaps even insinuating that _JB_ started it. 

“It’s okay,” Jaebeom had said, voice wobbling only a tiny bit. “We’ve still got time; I’ll try again tomorrow.”

So there he was, back pressed against the brick wall of the building, wondering how on earth he found the guts to do this again. 

This time, when Jinyoung passed him, he faltered but didn’t stop. Jimin wasn’t with him. 

“Jinyoung,” he called out, not raising his voice. Did he sound too desperate?

Much to his shock, the other boy stopped. A tense moment passed. 

“Jinyoung.” He stepped forward hesitantly. “Please, can we talk?”

The look in Jinyoung’s eyes puzzled him. Perhaps that was exactly it. Jinyoung looked at him as though he was trying to figure out a complicated math problem. 

“I didn’t think you were serious,” he said, hushed, fingers tightening on the straps of his case. “Yesterday.” When Jaebeom came still closer, he stepped back. “What do you want?” The hatred had nearly vanished, replaced with distrust, suspicion, confusion.

And then Jaebeom thought, _fuck it_. “I might not have a lot more time, Jinyoung. So please, talk to me.”

Jinyoung’s eyes narrowed. “What do you mean? Are you dying?”

He shrugged. “I just want to know why you hate me so much.” He didn’t glance away from Jinyoung’s eyes, not once. _This is just Jinyoung. You don’t need to be so scared, Jaebeom._ “If I could go back in time, I would undo whatever it is I did. I’d do anything, over and over again if it meant being your friend. Please, just tell me why.” 

He was _begging_ now. He’d never subject himself to that, but sometimes there would be no other way to appease a stubborn soul. For Jinyoung, he’d humiliate himself again and again.

Jinyoung looked spooked. “You…you really don’t _know_?” Jaebeom shook his head. The younger boy was so close to him that he could almost smell the perfume he must have worn. Jinyoung’s eyes searched his face for a moment before bunching up his eyebrows. “Your eye moles…” Jaebeom hastily fluffed his hair over them. “I thought they were above your right eye. I guess I thought wrong.” 

_You weren’t wrong, I’m just not mirror Jaebeom._ What surprised him was that despite saying he hated him, Jinyoung was still as observant as ever. “You—you noticed those, huh?” 

Jinyoung shoved his hands into his pocket, glancing down. “Jaebeom, I—”

“Jinyoung-ah!” A sharp voice cut through the tensed air. The two of them flinched and as Jaebeom turned, Jimin brushed past him. “Jinyoung-ah, Professor Lee is seriously _this_ close to kicking your ass. He’s distributing the answer sheets.”

“Fuck.” Jinyoung cursed under his breath and allowed himself to be dragged away. Jaebeom didn’t miss the regretful look that Jinyoung shot him, nor the curious glances Jimin was sending his way. 

And then Jaebeom was alone. Again. 

Today was better. Today was progress. Jinyoung wouldn’t run away from him, at least. 

He _hoped._

-

JB was close to panic when Jaebeom told him that the next day, he should go instead. They’d been holed up in the bedroom the entire evening, poring over the recording, hoping to find some meaning in it. Jaebeom was a little relieved that Jinyoung was now ready to listen, but the encounter had done something to him, something on a deeper level. He missed Jinyoung. _His_ Jinyoung. He was a little confused and guilty as to why he didn’t miss Sungjin or Mark as much. Brian had said they could possibly be soulmates. A tiny little possessive part of him wanted that to be true. 

“Why am _I_ going tomorrow?” JB burst out, sweat already beading at his hairline at the thought of it. “He probably suspects something already; he saw your eye moles, what is he going to think if he sees them on the other side?”

“Wear makeup and cover them,” Jaebeom said easily, a little irritated at JB’s behavior. _Why wouldn’t he man up and just confront Jinyoung?_ “I’m telling you to go because I think he’ll give you an answer tomorrow.” He picked at the carpet where he sat on the floor. “You should be the one hearing it. Not me.” He raised his eyes and saw that JB was looking at him, concerned and fearful. 

“But you can record it and I can still—”

“No.” Jaebeom shook his head. “You said it yourself when I first fell here. We look the same but we’re different. The Jinyoung who’s about to explain why he never liked you is not the same as mine. You two share memories that I’ve never made. I wouldn’t understand them. I wouldn’t get where he’s coming from.” He laid back onto the rug, gazing up at the ceiling. “I would only know the pool party we threw for his eighth birthday when we dunked him into the water in all his clothes and made him cry. I only know the time he won the…what was it called? Academic excellence award in middle school and how all of us went there and embarrassed the shit out of him because we were cheering so loudly.” The corner of his mouth twitched. “I only know the time I took him out on a fake date because Sungjin dared me to and when he tried to hold my hand, I didn’t let him and that’s how he found out it was fake.” Jaebeom rolled over, heat piercing through him. “God, I was awful to him. How does he still like me? Why? What _haven’t_ I done to him?”

“Hey, it’s okay.” JB’s voice sounded alarmed and Jaebeom realized tears were falling. He hastily wiped them away. He never let anyone see him when he broke down. He wasn’t about to start now, not even if it was in front of his mirror self. “I’ll go tomorrow. I guess I have to face this at some point.”

-

The day’s incident kept Jaebeom awake, overthinking this and that and everything in between. Only in the early hours of the morning did he manage to fall asleep. 

Little did he know, another was also awake, pondering over his every word.

-

Jaebeom stayed home, waiting patiently for JB to return. 

He had explained everything, what to do and what to ask and where to find the confidence. He supposed he was being too harsh on the guy. Was it the same as being harsh on himself? Because Jaebeom knew he did that. For sure. JB must have had his insecurities fed upon every time he saw Jinyoung. It must have eroded over the years. 

-

“Jinyoung?”

He stopped immediately, turning around to look at the young man standing near him, a hopeful look in those eyes, obscured by his fringe and a cap, but hopeful nonetheless. Perhaps even desperate. The universe knew Jinyoung was far more so.

“Jaebeom.” The elder took a hesitant step toward him.  
“Can…can we talk? Do you…have time?” 

Certain thoughts flashed briefly through Jinyoung’s mind. His brother’s relentless questions as to why he treated Jaebeom the way he did; Mark’s pitying gaze whenever he saw either of them; the knowing smirk Jimin always wore and the cool threats she delivered to get him to patch up their feud. He suddenly found himself not caring one bit about any of them.

He nodded. “Yes, I have time.”

Jaebeom shoved his hands into his pockets. “Will you walk with me?”

 _How will I explain this?_ But Jinyoung agreed.

A few moments passed in silence as they deviated from the walkway into the lawns, Jinyoung keeping himself a pace behind the other. Perhaps he was looking for a bench. 

“Jinyoung—”

“Jaebeom, I don’t hate you.”

The elder gaped. “What?”

Jinyoung seemed to shrink. He couldn’t bring himself to repeat that, not under that gaze. He focused on the ground, on his shoes, anything. Anything but those eyes. Jaebeom apparently came to certain conclusions with the silence. 

“Won’t you look at me, Jinyoung?” It broke his heart, how weak that sentence sounded, how torn up the man was. He shook his head. 

“Why now?” Wouldn’t this be simpler if he could avoid it? Why had he accepted this? Why had he agreed to talk to him? Could he turn back time and stop it all? “Why now, when you’ve never cared before?”

“But I _did_ care!” Jaebeom exclaimed, hurt flashing across his face. “I was just…scared. I was _scared_. I—I didn’t want to chase you away or anything. I figured…even if you hated me, at least I could…see you?”

Jinyoung didn’t know what to say. Jaebeom’s words had taken him completely by surprise. Guilt crept up inside him. Was this the boy he’d told himself he hated all this time? And for what? 

“I don’t hate you, Jaebeom,” he repeated. “Not _really_.” He could see the question in those eyes. _Then why?_ He sighed. “I was jealous, okay?”

Jaebeom looked startled. “Jealous? Of what?”

Jinyoung found that his courage was slowly dissipating. “Ah. No, it’s nothing, it’s stupid.” He made a cowardly attempt to make a run for it, but Jaebeom’s quick reflexes stopped him. Embarrassed, he shoved away the arm that restrained him. “I was jealous of you, okay? I was _happy_ and then you waltzed into my life and just charmed the fuck out of my brother and my friends and my parents!” Jaebeom looked bewildered. “Sungjin hyung used to actually want me around until you showed up and then all he ever wanted was to spend all his time with this guy his own age and suddenly I was just a little baby too young to be included in anything!” 

Jinyoung was breathless; emotions he’d never let out pouring into the air, into Jaebeom’s awaiting ears. “It’s childish. I know. It’s stupid. I hate that I’m still holding onto all that even after we’ve grown, but…” he broke off, swallowing harshly, “I felt like…like I had no place in anyone’s life after you came along. I was always everyone’s second choice. After you.”

Jaebeom stood there, speechless. Jinyoung watched his Adam’s apple bob up and down and a trembling hand come up to sweep his hair back. 

Jinyoung hadn’t mentioned the details of it; not how Sungjin had, several times, physically pushed him out of his room when Jaebeom was coming over; how Jaebeom had accidentally broken his action figure and his mom placating _Jaebeom_ and not him; how the girl who came up to them in middle school to ask Jaebeom to the dance got rejected and passed off to him like he was her compensation; definitely not _that_ night. None of that was Jaebeom’s fault, technically speaking. But to child Jinyoung, it was more than he could bear. 

“Oh, Jinyoung,” Jaebeom whispered, as if he knew what he was thinking. “I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t be,” he replied, voice equally quiet. “You didn’t know.”

“I _didn’t_ know,” Jaebeom repeated, “that _is_ why I’m sorry.” He abruptly grasped Jinyoung’s hands in his. “I’m begging your forgiveness. What wouldn’t I give to start over and be a proper friend to you....”

Both of them were quiet, slowly letting the turn of events sink in. There was so much change happening in such short time that neither could seem to process it all at once. Jinyoung pressed his lips together, realizing that a colossal weight had just lifted off his chest. Judging by the relieved look on Jaebeom’s face, he must be feeling the same. 

_Was it that simple? Was this all there was to it?_

“Can we…” Jaebeom hesitated. “Can we be friends?” His sharp hawk-like eyes scanned Jinyoung’s face for any change in expression. “Or at least…put this hostility behind us?”

“…Friends?” Jinyoung repeated. A day previously, that word would have sounded absurd. He remembered what Mark had told him, confusion pricking at him again.

“Friends.” Jaebeom stuck out his hand. Nodding once, the younger boy took it. He was almost trembling. It felt odd, to touch his nemesis after years of repulsion. The corner of Jaebeom’s mouth curved in his signature smirk and Jinyoung found himself imitating it. 

_So we’re friends now?_ A sort of warmth spread in Jinyoung’s chest; years of hatred melting away. _We’re friends now._

-

JB watched in curiosity as Jaebeom listened to the recording, horror gradually increasing on his face. An emotion that he couldn’t quite identify was pulsing in Jaebeom’s eyes. His hand clamped over his heart as he heard Jinyoung’s rant about being pushed aside. 

“Jesus,” he muttered, burying his face in his hands. “I don’t know what to say.”

“I feel awful,” JB remarked somberly. “I hurt him so much. At least you were his friend. I can’t—I can’t even imagine…” He broke off, voice shuddering. 

“I’ve hurt him just as much.” Jaebeom rubbed at his eyes. “Enough to make the universe send me here.”

“It sent you because you knew what to do to make this right. I would have just kept being too scared to do anything about it.” JB patted his mirror self on the shoulder. “You’re going to fix this; I just know it.”

“ _We’re_ going to fix this,” Jaebeom said firmly. “ _We._ ”

-

By Jaebeom’s instruction and much after much begging and bribing Brian, JB sent a text to Sungjin and Mark, inviting them to come over to his apartment the next night to hang out. And to Sungjin, he said, _bring Jinyoung along, if he wants to_.

“Just act natural,” Jaebeom advised. “You don’t need to make things awkward. Just pretend nothing happened over the last…however many years, and you’re meeting him today.”

“But what are you going to do? If they see you…”

“I’ll just stay in the bedroom. They won’t see me.” Jaebeom sighed. “They won’t.”

-

“Yah, you can’t do that! That’s cheating!” 

Mark’s screeching could probably be heard twenty miles away. Almost immediately upon arriving, he had planted himself in front of Brian’s gaming consoles and challenged Sungjin to a battle, leaving JB and Jinyoung perched on the sofa, watching in mild interest. Interest that soon dissolved. 

JB looked over at Jinyoung. 

_God, he’s beautiful._

Jinyoung leaned forward in his seat, a little more interested as the location of the game changed, then sank back into the cushions, eyes flicking in JB’s direction before darting away. JB quickly diverted his gaze. 

“Yah!” Mark yelled again. “Fucking _die_ already!” 

“ _You_ die first, asshole!” Sungjin retorted, pressing the buttons on the console frantically. “I don’t even know how to play, why can’t you just go easy on me!”

JB rolled his eyes and accidentally made eye contact with Jinyoung, who clearly must have done the same thing. They shared awkward smiles before turning back to the game. 

“I’ll go order some food,” JB suggested to whoever was listening, hauling himself off the sofa to grab his phone from where it was plugged in the kitchen. 

“Yeah, sure,” Sungjin said absently.

“I want pizza!” Mark piped up, still focused on his game. 

“What about you, Jinyoung-ah?” And then he fell silent, the name suddenly sounding different on his tongue. The youngest boy sat up, eyes going wide at the use of his name. They weren’t close enough yet for that, dammit! JB cursed himself under his breath. 

“I want chicken,” he said softly, still looking up at him. JB nodded and quickly left, slapping his own face as punishment. He found his phone and pulled up the app they used to order food. After barely a moment’s hesitation, he chose chicken. 

After all, it was Jinyoung. 

In the solitude of the kitchen, JB allowed himself to blush a little. 

_God, how long has it been?_

Years. It had been years since JB watched Jinyoung at his first violin recital, shaky and nervous before getting up onstage and playing his soul. Years since JB saw that flushed face, glowing with happiness and discovered that his heart was aching in a way that he’d never felt before. 

It wasn’t love at first sight. No, never. They had known each other since the summer before middle school and at first it was curiosity. Jinyoung had been the first kid he met that day he moved in and, polite as he was, invited JB in as a guest to his house. There he met Sungjin and things just hit off from there. Sungjin and JB were immediately compatible, sharing interests from books to movies to music. If they left Jinyoung out of their world, JB had to admit, he was so caught up in the thrill of having a friend for the first time in a long while that he simply hadn’t noticed. 

He didn’t remember when Jinyoung went sour. Perhaps it was in high school? When he made his own set of close friends? When JB had to witness Sungjin’s unfortunate discovery that Jinyoung simply didn’t like _girls_ and the fight that ensued right after that? Looking back, it was clear, Sungjin was being unreasonable, and prejudiced. And JB hadn’t done anything to stop those harsh words. Not when he was beginning to think the same way. Sungjin was such a close friend that he couldn’t risk losing, not over his sexuality. It was different now; they were grown and had a better understanding of the world now; Sungjin had been pretty supportive recently when JB told him he liked boys too. He just conveniently forgot to mention which specific boy. 

_Sungjin would kill me if he knew the things I’ve imagined about his little brother._

The terror and fury in Jinyoung’s eyes that night still showed up in his nightmares. If he was going to hell, it would be for that. His guilt prevented him from attempting to reconcile, years later, until his mirror-self showed up. 

When did Jinyoung begin to hate him? Was it from the very beginning? 

Was it before or after JB realized he was in love?

He barely felt the time fly, nor did he hear the doorbell ring. 

He was shaken out of his thoughts by the sound of Jinyoung heaving two bags of food into the kitchen. He jolted, rushing to take the bags out of the younger boy’s hands.

“Ah, shit, sorry, let me get that—”

“No, it’s okay, hyung!” Jinyoung protested, still weakly allowing him to relieve his burden. And then he froze, as if just hearing the words he spoke. JB turned his face away, unsure if it would betray his emotions. 

_How long has it been since he called me hyung?_

“Ah, thanks anyway.” He cleared his throat awkwardly. 

“You bought alcohol?” Jinyoung gestured to the bags. “He asked for identification.” 

“Right. Yeah, I did.” He managed a casual shrug. “It’s always better with alcohol.” 

Jinyoung huffed (was that a laugh? Was he laughing now?). “Not always, but sure.”

JB crossed his arms. “Why’s that? You can’t handle—” 

And then he broke off, hand coming up to clutch at his chest, over his heart. Eyes blown wide and gasping for breath, he half collapsed against the countertop. Something had punched the air out of his lungs. 

Something had happened. In his foggy head, questions spun in and out of existence.

_Is time running out? Is that what this is? Is the other guy safe? What’s going on?_

“Hyung!” Jinyoung exclaimed, alarmed, hesitant, but finally deciding to grab onto JB’s arms to steady him. “What happened? Are you okay? Should I call…?” He glanced out the door to where the other two were still busy gaming. JB waved it off. The sudden feeling had vanished almost as quickly as it had come. “Do you need…water? Or anything?”

He shook his head. He was fine, _really_.  
Jinyoung’s worry was enough. It would always be enough.

-

Jaebeom was in a crisis. 

Sure, he was stuck in his bedroom mirror, in this laterally inverted dimension that had presented him with a countdown to his annihilation. He was _not_ looking forward to that. If he was going to die, he’d rather have it in his own place. 

No, that wasn’t the problem. 

The problem was that this little adventure had forced him into connecting with some things that he’d never been very familiar with: _feelings._ He probably couldn’t even name more than three if anyone asked.

His insides were clawing with anxiety about the situation on the other side of the mirror. On _his_ side. Despite the message he’d sent Brian, they were probably still frantic with worry. It broke his heart to think of Brian and Sungjin and Mark and his _mother_ all sleepless because of him. He hadn’t thought there would be so many people who cared for him.

And _Jinyoung_. 

Good god, did he miss Jinyoung. 

It was an awful thing to feel, but the jealousy that surged within him on seeing _his own self_ interacting with the mirror Jinyoung was something he couldn’t put into words. It wasn’t _his_ Jinyoung. It was someone else, someone with different skills and different memories and different mannerisms. A new person. But that didn’t seem to reassure him much. This Jinyoung still had the same smile, the same crinkles around his eyes, the same fake laugh, the same expressive eyes. 

Eyes that held the universe.

And then Jaebeom let the tears fall, curling up into a ball on the floor, knees to his chest and arms around his legs. He sobbed, _silently_ ; the universe couldn’t even spare him a few decibels.

 _I miss him_. He buried his face in his kneecaps. _I miss him and I miss the way he talked when he was teasing and I miss the way he pouted when he was sad and I miss…I miss just seeing him and his perfectly proportioned self and his fucking distracting lips and his…his pure heart and fuck fuck_ fuck and Jaebeom dissolved. And— _oh god. I’m in love with Jinyoung._

And then he was inhaling sharply, the air suddenly gone from his chest, tears temporarily stopping in the horror of what was happening. Why was his heart pounding so? A trembling hand rose to press at his chest, over his heart. And was he imagining the blurred lines around the room? It was like something had shifted in reality. 

It scared him. 

_Was Brian wrong? Is today…the end? Right now?_

It was gone, just like that. 

_Was it because…I’m…in love?_

A few moments later, JB walked inside and carefully shut and locked the door. He had a strange expression on his face, a sort of expression a man who had near escaped death would wear.

“Did you feel that, or was it just me?” His eyes were fearful, panicked.

“Yes.” Jaebeom’s voice was feeble. “I did.”

JB sank onto the floor beside him. “What was that? Did something happen? I didn’t do anything out of the ordinary.”

Jaebeom seemed so far away, floating alongside stars, perhaps. “I just realized I’m in love with Jinyoung.” He looked over at JB, glassy-eyed. “I want to go home.”

“Oh,” JB said gently. His fingers twitched but then grasped his arm and drew him closer into an embrace. It felt odd, to be comforted by one’s own self, but, Jaebeom reminded himself, they were not one. They were different, even though it still threw him off to see his image walking around. 

Back in his dimension, he would have brushed off whoever was trying to comfort him. Emotions were weakness, he’d discovered early on. Better to not show them to anyone. But now, enveloped in JB’s warmth, he wondered what on earth made him think so. He blinked, the last of the droplets falling through.  
“I want to go home,” he repeated, voice only a broken whisper.

“It’s okay, Jaebeom-ah,” the other boy said comfortingly. “It’s going to be alright. You’ll be home before you know it. I promise you.”

There it was. Yet another promise to keep.

Jaebeom closed his eyes. 

_Yet another promise to break._

-

Jaebeom almost laughed at the expression on Brian’s face, thinking that if _his_ Brian ever looked so focused, he’d wet himself. But then that sent him into another bout of homesickness. He _shouldn’t_ resent them for helping him get back. But it seemed so impossible.

“What does it mean, hyung?” JB was chewing at the inside of his cheek. 

Brian shook his head and leaned back in his chair. “I don’t know. All I can think is that it’s because Jaebeom realized he’s in love with the other Jinyoung.”

“Why would that try to kill us, for fuck’s sake?”

“I told you, soul magic,” Brian said, sitting up abruptly as if he understood something. “Soul magic seeks balance. Always. Now both Jaebeoms are in love; that half of the balance is complete. So now only this Jinyoung needs to comply.” He stared at the two of them, a grin on his face. “This is so interesting. If I wasn’t scared of getting arrested, I’d write my dissertation on this.”

JB glanced over at Jaebeom, who’s been very quiet the entire evening, only picking at his food. “Don’t worry. Things will probably get easier now, right? If soul magic wants the balance?”

“In my opinion, yeah.” Brian twisted his chopsticks between his fingers. “But like I said, soul magic is elusive. Nobody can predict it.”

-

“Hey,” Jaebeom voiced softly after they’d turned off the lights. “Are you asleep?” He heard JB rolling over to face him. 

“No.”

He swallowed hard, feeling forever close to tears. Perhaps this was his punishment for never opening up to anyone. “If we get out of this, promise me—”

“When.”

“—that you—what?”

“ _When_ we get out of this,” JB repeated. “We will. I’m hopeful now.”

Jaebeom scoffed. “Five days ago, I was the confident one. I feel like this place is draining my energy away.”

“All the more reason for us to win.”

“Hm. Yeah.” He shifted under his blanket. “Alright then, _when_ this is over, promise me that you’ll never tell Jinyoung. I won’t tell mine either. I don’t want to put them through that anguish.”

JB reached out and squeezed his hand. “I promise.”

-

“Jinyoung!”

The boy stopped at the voice and turned to see Jaebeom jogging to catch up with him. He was only on his way back home. It was Wednesday and he was planning on making the most of the free time he would have. He didn’t have violin practice on Wednesdays. 

Was something the matter?

“Is something wrong?” he asked once Jaebeom had come to a stop beside him. 

“Not at all.” Jaebeom shook his slowly lengthening hair out of his eyes. It wasn’t the sort of thing Jaebeom did often. Might as well admire it while it lasted. “I just thought I’d walk you home. I have to pass by the bookstore anyway.”

Jinyoung suspected that Jaebeom did _not_ really have to go to the store, but chose not to comment. 

They walked alongside each other in silence. Jinyoung was reluctant to break it, but the things Mark told him and the events of the past week had him unable to stay quiet. “Hyung?”

“Yes?”

 _How does someone ask this?_ “Do you…like me?” If Jaebeom froze, he hid it very well.

“Of course I like you, Jinyoung.”

“That’s not what I meant.”

“Then what did you mean?”

Jinyoung halted, so Jaebeom would look at him. “You know what I meant, hyung. Do you _like_ me? As in…more than friends? Jaebeom narrowed his eyes and Jinyoung could tell that he was about to avoid or deny it, so he added, “Mark hyung told me.” 

The elder’s lips parted in shock and then Jinyoung knew it was true. “Mark _told_ you?” He nodded. “Does…does anyone else—know? Jimin?”

 _He’s fishing for information; if Sungjin knows,_ he realized. “Jimin suspects—some things, but she doesn’t know the whole story. No one else knows. I think.”

Jaebeom was definitely avoiding his gaze. “When did he tell you?”

Jinyoung bunched up his eyebrows. “Um. Maybe a couple days before you came to talk to me? Last week, I mean.”

“ _Before_ I talked to you?”

“Yeah. Before.”

_Am I imagining it, or does Jaebeom look disturbed about this?_

He was quiet, finally making eye contact. “Was it out of pity, then?” 

“What?”

“You agreed to talk to me and be friends. Was it out of pity?” A sharp edge had settled into his voice. It dawned on Jinyoung how this must seem. 

“No!” he exclaimed. “No, it wasn’t.” He fiddled with the strap of his backpack. “I think you’re the last person I would pity, hyung.” He sighed. “When Mark told me all that, at first I thought he was joking, and…and then I was angry and humiliated. I don’t know. When you came to me the first time, I thought you were going to like, confess or something. And I really didn’t want to hear it. And…” He searched Jaebeom’s face for…something. _Anything._ “And then you asked me why I hated you. Honestly, I thought you really were messing with me. But—” 

He broke off, stepping aside for two girls who wanted to pass them. The sidewalk wobbled under him. “But…I don’t know, there was something about you that day that made me want to stay and talk. It’s just…it was like you _knew_ things, you know? Like you’d seen my soul, seen things I don’t understand. It was almost like you were someone I was…really. _Close_ with, but I didn’t remember. Does that make sense?”

Jaebeom was smiling at him with an almost adoring fondness that made guilt resurface. “No, but I understand.”

“Yeah. So. It wasn’t pity.” Jinyoung was appalled at himself. Since when did he grow so comfortable with a person he’d just become friends with? True, Jaebeom wasn’t a stranger, but still! 

Jaebeom nodded wisely and gestured for them to continue on their way. A minute passed before Jinyoung remembered how the conversation started.  
“So it’s true? You do like me?”

His companion sighed. “I wasn’t planning on you finding out. You despised me; how could I tell you anything?”

Jinyoung suddenly wondered if Jaebeom had always been this attractive. “But we’re friends now, right? You still wouldn’t tell me?”

“No! Why would I? Sungjin would murder me, for one.”

Oh. _Sungjin._ He couldn’t help but think back to that one night and, from Jaebeom’s grimace, it must have been reflected on his face.

“Ah, no, Jinyoung-ah, not because…” Jaebeom trailed off. “I’m his best friend!”

_I’m always going to be bitter over that one memory, aren’t I?_

“Is that why you didn’t say anything then, either?”

“It wasn’t my place to interfere—”

“You were practically family!” Jinyoung burst out. “You always interfered! Why didn’t you?” His shoulders slumped. “You were against it, too, weren’t you?”

Jaebeom was at a loss for words. “Jinyoung, it’s not like that, you _know_ —”

“No, I get it, I’m sorry.” Jinyoung waved it off. “We were young, I shouldn’t have expected—”

“Will you shut up for one minute?” Jaebeom snapped. He fell silent, startled. “I didn’t say anything because I was _scared_ , okay? Sungjin…yeah, he was an asshole to you, but he was my only friend back then! If I spoke up…I was scared that—I was scared he’d find out that…I was like you. I couldn’t risk losing him.”

Jinyoung’s mouth fell open in surprise. “You…you knew back then? That you were…?”

“I was beginning to.”

And suddenly Jinyoung wasn’t upset anymore. Not even because he’d been humiliated in front of his older brother’s best friend he used to harbor a crush on; not because his parents didn’t understand but were lukewarm about it; not because he had to resort to his friends to get through his crisis, but that was fine, because he _had_ friends like him. He had Wonpil and Jimin and _Bambam_ of all people, to talk to, to get through it. But Jaebeom…

“Oh, hyung,” he whispered, sorrow flooding through him. “If only I’d known…”

Jaebeom cracked a confused smile. “Would anything have changed?”

 _He doesn’t even realize…!_

“You had to go through that alone?” His voice was hushed and he didn’t even know it.

“Yah, what do you mean, me? You went through it alone, too!” Jaebeom rubbed the back of his neck uncomfortably. “You probably had it worse.”

Jinyoung shook his head. “I had people to talk to. You only had Sungjin hyung…I’m sorry.”

Jaebeom swiped his hands on his shirt. “Stop apologizing. It wasn’t your fault, it was mine.”

“But—”

“Jinyoung-ah, enough. You haven’t done anything wrong.” He jerked his head to the side. “I’ve got to go. The store closes soon.” 

Jinyoung hadn’t even noticed that he was standing in front of his house, eyes only for Jaebeom’s retreating figure. He recalled the words Jaebeom had told him only days before.

_“Oh, Jinyoung. I’m so sorry.”  
“Don’t be. You didn’t know.”  
“I didn’t know. That is why I’m sorry.”_

-

Time was ticking. 

Jaebeom could almost sense the way it was rushing past, speeding past, _bulldozing_ its way by. And he was drowning in helplessness. A part of him knew that his part was over, or at least, nearly so, but that did not reassure him. This was JB’s problem to deal with, not his.

JB and Brian were a great help to him, there when he needed some words of reassurance or comfort. But there was only so much they could do.

-

The eighteenth of September. Five days left.

The equinox was nearing and both of them were scared shitless. They had nearly lost hope.

JB had gotten into the habit of walking with Jinyoung around campus and back home, just so they could talk. The younger boy had scolded him for it, telling him not to go out of his way to establish their friendship or to redeem himself of something, but JB always had a reassurance on the tip of his tongue: _well, maybe it’s a good thing you’re always in my way._

On Friday, the day before, he’d casually (or not, his heart was screaming bloody murder) asked if Jinyoung wanted to come over to his place to hang out, watch a movie, eat some grease? And with those inky ethereal eyes, he’d asked:

“Are you inviting Sungjin and Mark?”

And with equal seriousness, he’s replied, “Do you want me to?”

Was he seeing things, or did Jinyoung’s gaze flicker to his lips? “No.”

They were seated on the sofa, letting the silence wash over them. It was sometimes hard to find peace when Sungjin and Mark insisted on attention. 

_This is nice,_ JB thought. _I’m probably going to die in five days, but it’s fine. Totally fine._

“Hyung?” 

“Hm?”

“Do you remember that day when you came to talk to me?” Jinyoung twisted himself to face him. “You said you might not have a lot of time. What did you mean?”

_What do I tell him?_

“I guess you could say I’m dying, in a way,” he said, regretting the words as soon as they were spoken, for the frown contorting his face was something he wasn’t fond of. He attempted to repair the damage, putting a teasing lilt to his voice. “I don’t know, Jinyoungie, will you save me?” 

Jinyoung didn’t appear convinced. “Hyung, you’re not thinking of committing suicide, are you?”

“No, Jinyoung. Nothing like that.”

“Then are you terminally ill?”

“I’m really okay. I promise.” 

He fell silent for a while. JB watched those eyebrows furrow in contemplation, knowing full well the gears were turning underneath them.

“Hyung, I don’t know what’s going on and I won’t pry, but…I just…I want you to know that…you mean a lot to us, you…” He wet his lips nervously. “You mean so much to _me_ , so please…don’t do anything…like that.” His voice shook at the end.

“Oh, Jinyoungie,” JB breathed out, wanting nothing more than to break down and tell him the truth, but no, he couldn’t. Jinyoung’s hands fumbled a bit before tucking themselves around JB, in the space between his body and the sofa. Clearly attempting to initiate a hug. 

JB wrapped his arms around him and drew him closer, tilting his head up to prevent any tears from falling. How he wanted to console him! How he wanted to never let go!

Five days and counting.

-

Jaebeom was crying in the hallway.

He was aware that was a bad idea. To sit out in the open where anyone could round the corner and see him. But he found that he simply didn’t care. Not after what Jinyoung told JB.

He’d never been told that, even when once, he desperately wanted to hear it. That one time in high school he’d sunk into the depths of depression and asked his friends what they’d do if he killed himself. He couldn’t blame them for their responses, not when they were so immature and high-spirited. Because they clapped their hands in overexaggerated joy and told him they would bring him a wreath for his funeral; because they laughed and said they’d be relieved. No, he couldn’t blame them for not taking him seriously—he’d never said anything like that until then. 

But he remembered Jinyoung, who sat down next to him on the compound wall while the others played football. He remembered him pressing himself as close to Jaebeom as possible and quietly slipping a hand into his. Jinyoung hadn’t spoken a word. He didn’t need to. 

Jaebeom, sunken in darkness, hadn’t noticed.

And Jinyoung, sweet Jinyoung, hadn’t held it against him. 

Jinyoung always knew him. Better than anyone else, despite his best friend title being given to Sungjin. Jinyoung knew was ticked him off, what made him truly happy, what he needed, without requiring anything more than a glance his way.

Jaebeom was ashamed he hadn’t seen it earlier. Ashamed that he hadn’t known how much he valued the boy. If only he had…maybe he wouldn’t be in such a predicament. 

But fate was fate. 

_Fate was a bitch._

Five days and counting.

-

Time flies when you don’t want it to.

One day.

Neither of them was counting anymore.

-

“Let’s not think about it,” JB said, a note of despair still in his voice despite his words. He held up the book in his hands. “We’ve got work to do.” He plopped down on the floor and spread his materials around him. Jaebeom watched, amused from where he stood in the doorway. 

“You mean _I’ve_ got work to do.” He knelt beside him. “What is all this?”

“Jinyoung’s birthday is tomorrow, so we’re throwing a party,” JB explained. “I didn’t volunteer to bring anything, because, well.” The rest was implied. “But I figured, even if things go wrong—”

“That’s one way to put it.”

“—we could still gift him something. So I thought we could make a sort of scrapbook or something for him. With like, pictures of us and stuff.”

They were being oddly casual, burning with a sort of determination in knowing that this might just be the last thing they do. They were damn well going to do it perfectly. It was, in all probability, useless, because the next day was the equinox and their last chance.

With the rest of the night behind them, the scrapbook slowly began to take shape and beauty. Jaebeom finally found use for his artistic, romantic side that he was known for back on his side of the mirror. He had an eye for design, for knowing exactly how the layout should be, what colors matched where and what to write. 

It was a masterpiece, both of them agreed. 

At the end, where a ‘signing off’ should be, Jaebeom neatly wrote four lines:

_the volume goes up, you hear the beating of my heart  
the worlds out there are many, but we’ll never be apart  
our lives can’t get better and they can’t get any worse  
the chorus has played out, this is our second verse._

-

Jaebeom wished the night would last forever. He didn’t want to wake up.

Today was the last day, their last chance. What were the odds that Jinyoung would fall in love with JB _today_ , when he hadn’t for the past two weeks? They weren’t even _friends_ two weeks ago! This was impossible.

But as the sun trickled in and he pushed himself up, he wasn’t aware that there was someone running, running toward him, and another crying in his sleep.

-

After Brian left, the two groggily helped themselves to breakfast. His flatmate seemed to have taken pity on them. JB was grateful; at least he’d done that to ease their pain today. 

The doorbell rang, causing both of them to jump. Jaebeom hastily swallowed his spoonful of eggs and hurried to dump his plate in the sink before dashing off to the bedroom.

JB made his way to the front door, puzzled and curious. 

_Did Brian hyung forget something?_

“ _Jinyoung_?!” 

The younger boy was covered in a sheen of sweat, panting and holding onto the doorframe as if he’d run all the way there. JB’s eyes were going to pop out.

“Hyung.”

“Jinyoungie, what…? Ah,” he suddenly remembered. “Happy birthday.”

Jinyoung didn’t seem to care about wishes. “Hyung,” he managed to say, a hand over his chest to calm himself.

“Hey, take your time, there’s no rush.” JB prompted him to inhale and exhale deeply.

“Hyung.” He wet his dry lips. “Sungjin hyung. And the rest of them, they—I heard them say things. They’re…planning on embarrassing me today at the party. Yeah, I know there’s a party,” he added, answering JB’s unspoken question. “They’re going to make me tell you…this, but I—I thought it would be easier to tell you. Alone. Now.”

JB tilted his head, not sure where the boy was going with this. “Okay, what is it?”

Jinyoung gulped visibly, trembling as he crossed the threshold. “I think I love you, hyung.”

And there it was again. The air in his lungs was punched out of him and he gasped, hands scrabbling to hold onto something, the door, Jinyoung, anything. And then it was gone. Gone.

The younger held tight onto him, eyes glossing over. “Hyung?” He couldn’t seem to tear his eyes away from that mouth. Jinyoung seemed stuck in the same situation, leaning hopelessly close and closer still. 

_Wait._ A voice in the back of his head arose. _This can wait. Fix the imbalance first. Anything else is selfish of you._

Before Jinyoung could close the distance, JB pressed his thumb to the plush lips, instead kissing his cheek apologetically. When he looked up, disappointed, JB quickly consoled him. “I—I need to show you something, Jinyoung. Sit down. Let me go get it. I’ll be right back.”

The boy nodded, already _wrecked_ and they hadn’t done a thing.

JB swallowed hard. _Later. That can wait for later._

-

JB found his mirror counterpart in the bathroom, hyperventilating. He grabbed the scrapbook they’d worked on so hard the previous night and hauled Jaebeom to his feet. 

“You’ve worked hard,” Jaebeom told him, the two locked in a tight embrace. He buried his face in JB’s neck. “You did it.”

“It’s over, Jaebeom,” he whispered, tears already blurring his vision. “You can go home now.” 

The music major couldn’t tell the difference, but JB saw that the mirror wasn’t solid any longer. It had changed to a shimmering silvery fluid, and Jaebeom was shivering. As if he was afraid. JB rubbed his nape in comfort, the way Jaebeom had done for him days ago. 

“It’s okay.” He gently pried his hands away. “Go on. Just touch it.” He guided the shaking hands close to the mirror. “And, Jaebeom? Thank you. For everything.”

He was pulled into one last fierce hug and then Jaebeom placed his palm flat against the tricky glass and vanished.

-

The next thing Jaebeom knew was that he was in his bathroom ( _his_ bathroom) and pressing a hand against his mirror, against his… _reflection._ He had a reflection! Tapping against the glass which had become solid once more, he locked eyes with himself and felt his other arm being irresistibly dragged up. He gasped. 

He was holding the scrapbook they had made!

 _JB must know about mirror manipulation then._ He glanced back, mouthing _thank you_. 

He was back. All the things in the room were back in the positions he was used to. 

He was _back_. 

He had returned, and today was the twenty-second of September. 

_Jinyoung’s birthday!_

Jaebeom tore out of his room and found Brian, who promptly choked on his cereal. 

“YAH!”

He winced at the shout. Brian stood up, throwing his utensils around. Seizing Jaebeom’s collar, he slammed him up against the wall, anger smoldering in his eyes. 

“YOU FUCKING BASTARD!” he yelled in his face. “HOW COULD YOU DO THAT, HUH? HOW COULD YOU JUST LEAVE WITHOUT WARNING?” His grip tightened and face crumpled. “Yah,” he repeated, shaking him. “How could you just go? Do you have any idea how scared we were?” His voice cracked at the end. “How did you even get in here?”

“Hyung,” Jaebeom pleaded. “I’m sorry, a thousand times sorry. I know that’s not enough, but that’s all I can give you now. I’ll explain everything later, I just—need to see Jinyoung. Hyung, please.” Brian’s grip loosened and Jaebeom slid out from where his body caged him. And then he was bolting out the front door.

Seeing the world reverted threw him off for a moment, but soon enough, he was sprinting through the street with only one goal in mind.

He knocked harshly on Jinyoung’s front door. His mother answered. Her expression changed from irritation to concern to shock in a millisecond. 

“Jaebeom! You—!” She was at a loss for words. “You—”

“Ma, please,” he begged, nearly falling to his knees. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, just please! I need to see Jinyoung. Please, ma, I need to see him. Please let me see him!”

She could only step aside with that half worried, half pitying gaze and he flew up the familiar path to Jinyoung’s bedroom. 

Outside it, only seconds away from restoring the balance, Jaebeom hesitated, courage waning. His fingers closed around the scrapbook, still in his hand, and he knocked.

The door swung open and Jinyoung’s form came into view, clearly expecting his mother, or maybe his brother to be standing there. 

He inhaled sharply. “Hyung! What—” He was shocked into immediate tears, arms reaching out to pull him into a much-awaited hug. Jaebeom stopped him. He had to get the words out before he lost all his strength.

“Jinyoung,” he breathed out, “if—if I gave you my heart…would you keep it?”

The younger boy was so startled he stopped crying. 

“Yes,” he whispered. 

And then Jaebeom surged forward, surpassing the hug, to press his lips against Jinyoung’s. He responded a beat late, but heaved forward eagerly. As if he’d been waiting far too long. They sank into each other again and again, until at last, a hair’s breadth from insanity, Jinyoung pulled away. 

“What—why now?” he asked, still unable to believe what just happened. “Hyung?”

Jaebeom crushed his slimmer figure against the wall of his room, physically incapable of being apart, of breathing air that wasn’t in the tiny circle they’d drawn around themselves. “I had to get away,” he murmured into the younger’s hair, breathing in deeply. “I had to get away to realize how much I took you for granted. I had to be on the edge of never seeing you again to understand that you mean so much to me, that…that I _love_ you.”

He knew his cheeks were wet. Jinyoung’s arms came up to circle around his back. 

“I’m so sorry, Jirongie.” Their embrace barely had room for air, but he didn’t mind. “I’m so sorry I scared you, but I’m never leaving you again. Not as long as I live.”

“Hyung,” came his muffled voice. “I’m sorry for not telling you sooner. I love you.”

All was right with the world.

“Oh _hell_ , what is Sungjin going to say? He’ll kill me.”

“He won’t. Hyung already knows.”

“Wait? Sungjin…knows?”

He could feel Jinyoung’s smile against his lips. “Hasn’t he _always_ known?”

And all was right again.

-

_**One year later.** _

Heat pulsing through blood. Heavy breathing that was drowned out by the staccato creaking of the bed springs. Fingers threaded through hair, gripping tight. Moans that turned into whimpers of _hyung_ and _please_. Open mouthed kisses pressed to flushed skin. Shuddering through cresting pleasure, finally coming undone. 

Jinyoung brought Jaebeom’s lips to his, claiming them once more as they trembled through the aftershocks. No words were needed even as they finally stood up to shower. 

The younger of the two planted himself in front of the mirror, lazily dragging his towel through his hair. Jaebeom took his time getting out, eyes raking down Jinyoung’s post-coital form. He must have noticed Jaebeom’s gaze through the mirror, because he peeked around and flashed him a coy smile. Heat stirred in Jaebeom’s abdomen.

He tucked his towel around his waist and slid behind Jinyoung, into the space reserved for no one but him, arms around his hips. With his wet hair dripping water onto the other, he left a trail of sweet kisses along his shoulder and up his neck. 

“Hyung,” Jinyoung protested, squirming in his hold. “You’re getting me all wet again.”

Jaebeom smirked into his skin. “Wet? Or _hard_?” 

He chuckled, whipping his towel into Jaebeom’s face. “As if you could last another, old man.” And then he laughed at the offended look on the elder’s face. Jaebeom decided against responding to that, roughly toweling his hair before bunching it up on the floor. 

“I love you, Jinyoungie,” he murmured, turning his head gently and kissing his pouty lips. He seemed to melt in satisfaction.

“Hyung,” he addressed, a note of curiosity in his tone, “do you think you’ll ever tell me what happened to make you realize that?”

Jaebeom peered into those deep, dark eyes and then through the bathroom door into the bedroom. His searching gaze fell on the shelf where Jinyoung kept the worn scrapbook he thumbed through every once in a while. 

“Maybe one day, Jinyoung.”

He pressed his lips to the younger’s forehead and turned back to the mirror, tightening his grip around him. He briefly made eye contact with his reflection and felt a smile tug at the corner of his lips. 

“Maybe one day."

-

_fin._


End file.
